Fourth House on the Right - On Sisters

My dear, dear reader,

You may not have realized it, but I have a sister, a younger one, nine years old. And, believe it or not, I love her something fierce - I suppose that is to be expected, though. At the same time, however, she manages to be the most exasperating of creatures. I try to help and she makes faces at me (the raised upper lip, crinkled nose, and squinty eyes is the most common one). I provide an answer for her homework - and she doesn't want my answer. I tell her that, sorry, but no, I cannot play ping pong, air hockey, Monopoly (yes, I taught her Monopoly to indoctrinate into her the wonders of capitalism), doctor, face-painting with you - sorry, but I have homework, I can't read to, with, or at you - and she "humph"s and stomps out of the room. Which led me to wonder - what is it about sisters that is so frustrating? If you expect me to actually be able to answer this question you're crazy. Nevertheless, I have to write about something, so here goes.

The first possibility is that sisters are deliberately out to get their siblings, that they enjoy, indeed savor, their ability to drive them up a wall. They plot it all out: how will we get them this time? And how fast will we have to be to escape the flying pillow? I imagine these sorts of questions bandying about in the brain of my own cute, adorable, and positively wicked sister. Maybe there's even a sort of congress for sisters - maybe they unionize behind our backs - maybe all that Monopoly hasn't paid off after all.

Perhaps I am being too harsh. Maybe they just can't help it, they are constitutionally unable to withhold from themselves the pleasure of our frustration. Maybe that crinkled face is meant only to hide a wicked little grin.

But perhaps I am being too harsh. Maybe they don't necessarily enjoy, but rather are compelled by the state in a very Harrison Bergeron-ish way.

But perhaps I am being too harsh. Maybe they just evolved that way and have absolutely no control over themselves - it's just biological.

But perhaps I am being hypocritical. Maybe they just respond out of their own exasperation. Could it be that I am the one causing all this frustrating morass of frustration? Surely not (wink)!!

Yours,
Mr. Windsor

P.S. When dealing with sisters I recommend plain black tea. Sisters are such interesting phenomena in and of themselves that your mind won't be able to handle anything more than plain jane tea.